Relativity
by fnl
Summary: Relativity is a funny thing. Sirius Black reflects on the concept of time as his thoughts play out in front of him.


_I own nothing._

_I'm not sure what you're going to think of this one ... it's really, really different from what I usually write. I haven't had a beta look over it yet, either, so it may be really confusing, as it's quite vague. I hope you understand it and can make sense of it, but you may not. Please take time to leave a review at the end, as I'm really unsure about this one and would appreciate any advice. Thanks._

* * *

**Relativity**

* * *

For a moment, he hesitated. It was just a minuscule amount of time, hardly worthy of the title of even a Second, but it was enough to make him step back – figuratively – and reevaluate the entire situation. It was wrong, it wasn't fair, and he really shouldn't have been doing it. He was just about to pull back and tell her so when her fingers came up and brushed along his jaw line and all was forgotten. Before he knew it, that diminutive amount of time that was hardly worthy of the title of a Second had already become the Past and had taken with it all his reservations. As his initial mental protests faded away and each new second became the Present, he began to kiss her back, and in doing so, each tiny amount of time that was hardly worthy of the title of a Second gave way to something that was more intense than anything either had ever experienced from the other.

* * *

Time was a funny thing, reflected one Sirius Black as a warm June night in 1977 began to succumb to the dawn.

He recalled a time many years before when he had been sitting in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, his mother watching him like a hawk to make sure he didn't break anything. He could no longer remember what he was doing, or why he was there, he just knew it was one of the few times that he, his mum, and Regulus had been completely at ease with one another. For once, the formality that had to be upheld in a stiff traditional family was not painfully present between the three.

"Mum," Regulus had said, looking up at the lady with large, dark eyes. "What's the future?"

Sirius, also curious, waited for a response.

The woman didn't answer right away. "The future," she began. "Is anything that hasn't yet happened. Next year is the future, Regulus, tomorrow is the future; even one second from now is considered to be the future."

Sirius remembered being surprised at this information. He had never considered the Future to be something so small. To him, the Future was something that was a long ways off, something that would redefine and shape him into an adult. To him, the Future was nowhere near his present mind.

Since that evening in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, Sirius had thought about his mother's words more often than he'd like to admit. Even though he now knew and understood the concept of the Future, it still amazed him how in a little amount of time hardly worthy of the title of a Second, his perception of everything could go from Future to Present to Past. How that one second that now was the Future could translate itself into the Present, and subsequently, the Past, held him spellbound.

Time was a funny thing.

* * *

"Sirius, I have to talk to you," Lily Evans said softly, sitting next to him on the couch in the now empty Gryffindor Common Room. The only light came from the fire's dying embers and turned the room into a slightly creepy place with dark corners and long shadows.

He looked at her, eyes heavy, looking, but not really seeing. "How'd you know I was here?" he asked, redirecting his gaze to the nearly dead fire.

She ignored his question. "Listen," she urged, turning sideways so she was facing him and taking his hand. "I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry."

"It's done now, it's all in the past." He looked at her.

"I know and I'm sorry," she repeated. "I know you weren't expecting it, and I know you wish I hadn't, but I don't know what came over me. It won't happen again, I promise."

As his eyes roamed her face again, this time seeing, but not really looking, he took in everything from her messy hair to her flushed cheeks to her eyes, drooping and tired. Without thinking, he rested his hand on her cheek and leaned forward to kiss her softly on the mouth.

For a moment, a minuscule amount of time hardly worthy of the title of a Second, she didn't respond. When she did, she kissed him back softly, lingeringly. There was neither the intensity, nor the passion there had been before, but each tiny amount of time that was hardly worthy of the title of a Second that passed gave way to something unrecognizable that neither had experienced from the other before.

* * *

The progression of time was a curious thing, one Sirius Black reflected as a cool dawn in early October of 1977 began to turn into morning.

Though in his earlier years – earlier in his Past, if you will – he had seen time as something that was set in stone, he had stumbled upon a much bigger, much more confusing dimension.

Instead of each little amount of time hardly worthy to the title of a Second being specifically categorized as either the Past, Present, or Future, as he had done before, he realized that each of these tiny amounts of time were instead all three. Right now could be the Present, the Past, and the Future, depending on which angle it was examined from.

The progression of time was a curious thing.

* * *

Something had blossomed between the two after that night in the common room. Neither knew what it was, but both could feel it; an indescribable bond that stole their attention and wreaked havoc with conscience.

"Sirius, I have to talk to you," James Potter said as his best friend walked into their dormitory. His face was hard and his body stiff as he sat down on the end of his bed.

Sirius mirrored his actions on the mattress directly across from him, tossing one of Remus' socks aside with a slight grimace. "Yeah, Prongs?" he asked, slightly curious as to why he was being subjected to such a serious discussion, but mostly feeling nervous as a growing comprehension dawned on him.

James, to his credit, was staying remarkably calm. "What happened to you last night?" he asked, giving his friend the benefit of the doubt.

"I was in the Common Room. Couldn't sleep."

It was with slightly narrower eyes that a certain Mr. Potter delivered his next line. "Who else was there?"

Sirius sighed. This was why the first time had been wrong, unfair, and why he shouldn't have done it. This was why, for that minuscule amount of time not worthy of the title of a Second, he had hesitated. "Look, Prongs," he said. "I don't know what came over me. Hell, I don't know what came over her."

James was sitting eerily still. "You kissed her," he pointed out. "Not the other way around."

"She kissed me first," Sirius informed him. "Yesterday afternoon. I didn't initiate it; I wouldn't do that to you."

Visibly relaxing, the man across from him rested his face in his hands, somewhat surprised that he hadn't yet begun a violent feud. "I trust you," he replied. "You're my best friend."

Curious as to why James was so passive and why he wasn't putting any blame on him, Sirius searched his brain for some words of assurance. "There's nothing going on," he informed James softly. "She's my friend, that's it, I swear." There was a pause before Sirius got any sort of response.

"If it -" he broke off to clear his throat. "If it was any guy besides me that fancied her … would there be something going on between you two?" Apparently James could see right through his lie about the supposed friendship between Sirius and Lily.

Sirius carefully considered his words before conceding. "Yeah," he replied. "Yeah, there would be. Don't worry about it, mate." Standing up, he walked to the door. "I'm gonna go get some supper, you coming?"

James shook his head before fixing his friend with an unreadable stare. "Sirius?" he asked. The man at the door glanced questioningly at him. "Thank you."

For a moment, a tiny amount of time that was hardly worthy of the title of a Second, the two felt their bond strengthen; they felt the holds of friendship tighten as a new type of allegiance that neither had experienced became dominant.

* * *

Relativity was a strange thing, one Sirius Black pondered as a cool August evening in 1978 gave way to a starry night.

Over the last year he had realized something. It wasn't that each small amount of time that was hardly worthy of the title of a Second was categorized under either Past, Present, or Future, nor was it so much, as he had thought nearly a year ago, that each tiny slice of time could be considered all three.

It was simply relative.

What was once the Future had long since become the Past, and what would one day become the Present was currently the Future.

Relativity was a wonderful thing.

* * *

Sirius joined the Receiving Line at a wedding that had been shortly, but enthusiastically anticipated. After having taken his position next to the groom, he thought better of it and instead moved to look his best friend in the eye.

Shaking his hand, he stared at the man he had spent nearly half his life with. "Congratulations," he said sincerely, as his best friend beamed back at him.

Moving towards the bride, Sirius gave a wry grin as she threw her arms around his neck. "Congratulations, Lily," he said softly as she retook her place in line.

For a moment, he hesitated. It was just a minuscule amount of time, hardly worthy of the title of even a Second, but it was enough to make him step back – figuratively – and reevaluate the entire situation. This was a girl he had loved both romantically and platonically, but had given up for a bond that he felt would outlast any relationship he'd ever have with any girl: friendship. Before he knew it, that diminutive amount of time that was hardly worthy of the title of a Second had already become the Past, and, in doing so, had taken with it all his reservations. He kissed her on the cheek as the Future became the Present.

When he took his place in the line again, he heard a quiet "Sirius?" from the man on his right.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Sirius smirked slightly as a feeling of déjà vu washed over him and the Present gave way to the Past while, at the same time, the Past became the Future. "Only for you, mate."


End file.
